When mama was diagnosed with cancer in June 2010, one of the things that she told us was “never ask God why…just pray”. During the time mama got sick, my youngest sister “J” had just finished 1 year of chemotherapy for another type of cancer and in remission. So as you can imagine, it has been tough for our family and it’s been a struggle to really not ask “why?”, but when I think of mama fighting the battle and never losing her faith, it is easier to keep her words close by.
Mama passed in March of this year and it is true what they say about grieving forever when you lose a mother. The pain of losing somebody you love is strongly felt after the funeral, when you have to go back to your life again and realize they’re no longer there. That you will never talk to them or see them again, and wish you were able to hug them and tell them how much you love them one last time.
When I started looking for answers, that is when I found Hope Edelman‘s “Motherless Daughters“ and I am glad that I did because it has helped me understand the pain and grief after I read what others have gone through. It also helps to know that you are not alone.
It’s been 4.5 months since mama passed and I have read this book twice. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is searching for healing and answers from the grief brought by losing a mother.
Quoted from the backcover:
“Ask any woman whose mother has died and she will tell you that she is irrevocably altered, as profoundly changed by her mother’s death as she was by her mother’s life. And although a mother’s mortality is as inevitable as nightfall, no other book has addressed the lasting effects of this incalculable loss.”
“Based on interviews with hundreds of mother-loss survivors, and chronicling the author’s own brave search for healing, this life-affirming book reveals:
- How the absence of a nurturing hand shapes a woman’s identity
- Why living beyond a mother’s final year reminds a daughter of her exquisite separateness
- How present-day relationships are defined by past losses
- What the unmothered woman can do to reclaim her autonomy and restore her connection to the family motherline
- How to understand grief: not as a passage, but as an ongoing journey.”
“A work of stunning courage and honesty, Motherless Daughters is a must read for the millions of women whose mothers have gone – but whose need for healing, mourning, and mothering remains.”
Visit Hope Edelman’s website here.